I love cooking and making up my own recipes. My personal cookbook is generally considered the equivalent of a witch's grimoire by those eating my creations. Sometimes visitors attempt to assist me to some varying degree of success. This can become more of a liability than actual help, though, as I often move at high speeds (particularly when listening to music) and twirl around like a dancer as I multitask.
Here is a haiku to succinctly express my sentiment:
Thank you for trying, but
please stay out of my kitchen.
You don't do it right.
The worst instance of a fumbled yet well-meant attempt ended with a rescue mission. I scrubbed one of my better saucepots in a panic, attempting to remove the bits of the half-melted cooking ladle. Less terrible moments have included many rounds of unevenly-cut vegetables sliced with painstaking slowness, dropping things, mistaking amounts of spice or even the spice itself. While I have in fact had successful helpers, I cook on my own enough that I have a certain rhythm to my work which an assistant will only interrupt. I appreciate the offer, but generally speaking it is best to just set the table, stay out of my way and talk to me if I'm not jamming out.
/endrant
Here is a haiku to succinctly express my sentiment:
Thank you for trying, but
please stay out of my kitchen.
You don't do it right.
The worst instance of a fumbled yet well-meant attempt ended with a rescue mission. I scrubbed one of my better saucepots in a panic, attempting to remove the bits of the half-melted cooking ladle. Less terrible moments have included many rounds of unevenly-cut vegetables sliced with painstaking slowness, dropping things, mistaking amounts of spice or even the spice itself. While I have in fact had successful helpers, I cook on my own enough that I have a certain rhythm to my work which an assistant will only interrupt. I appreciate the offer, but generally speaking it is best to just set the table, stay out of my way and talk to me if I'm not jamming out.
/endrant
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